The Ending Dream

Last night, he was in my dream.

Unlike so many times before, this dream somehow answer things..

In my dream yesterday, he was my neighbour.. everytime we about to bump,I ran away as quickly as I could.. I ignored him. Then one day come a script of letter. It's our old conversation.. from many years ago. He prints it and highlight so many things and there's a note on each highlighted phrases.

As he explained what he wrote to me long time ago, things he didn't mean to say, he shouldn't said. And some of my words that hurting him as well.

And on the last pages.. he wrote..

"Things could never be back okay again. No matter how much we want, how much we tried.. we can't never mend what we broke before. Just like when you went to a dining and find the food wasn't as much as you loves, or if their taste as bad as you could imagine.. would you go again to the store? I'm not saying our relationship before was that bad, but we broke up and hurt each other. As much as it hurting you, it hurting me too. And I don't want to go through the same pain again with you. I hope you understand.. we would never be back again.."

As I read those words.. I understand. I felt the same, I don't want us get to that relationship again. But he missed understand. All I want is we have a good end, the maybe we could be friend again. But I think I know now, he could never want to be my friend anymore.

****

I woke up and realized..

Guess that's how he ends what I been wonder all this time.

If that's what you wish H.. 

Genggam bahagia

Genggam tangan ku 

Jangan kau lepaskan

Tak pernah sekalipun ku curiga

Mencintaimu takkan berubah 

Selama manapun kan ku tunggu

Peluk hatiku jangan kau lukakan

Tak rela lagi hatiku kecewa

Terus denganku kita berdua

Semoga kisah kita bahagia..

- S.S

-----

To you whom have that similar face..

What's up with us?

Dear mr.eye

You gave me the hint to initiate the relationship

You come back after years and find me again

But babe.. I'm just too scared.

I don't want to get hurt again.

But now all I can think is you

Should I start reaching for you again?

Or am I too late now?

The words

Untuk berjodoh..

Tuhan tidak menggerakkan satu hati,

- tapi keduanya..

by patahan ranting

To call a fate,

God doesn't move a heart,

-but both..

***

Damn.. it slaps me hard.

I'm done.

I'm just having fun

I make a mistake posting those words on my page years ago. And he read..

And he believes it.. therefore he never thought my feeling was sincere..

Reality is.. it was the word to reconcile my heart.

I should've fight for my feeling. Make him stay!

The truth that I didn't, make me regrets many thing that I can't let go..

Not the same

You won't find the person twice, not even in the same person - M.D

He's not the same H that I've known. He changes.

Indeed.

The one that I loved has gone..

Glimpse of us

He'd take the world off my shoulders

As if it was ever hard to move

He turn the rain to a rainbow

When I was leaving in the blue

Why then if he's so perfect, do I still wish that it was you

Perfect don't mean it working so what can I do

When you out of sight in my mind

Cause sometimes I look in his eyes and that's where I find a glimpse of us

And I try to fall for his touch but I'm thinking of the way it was

Said I'm fine, said I'm move on

But I'm only here passing time on his arm

Hoping I'll find a glimpse of us 

*****

(Not a translation from the above song)

Untuk hati yang masih berpegang pada janji yang sebelumnya.

Untuk hati yang masih bertapak insan yang sebelumnya.

Dan untuk kekesalan yang masih bersisa.

Seharusnya, tamat kan, buangkan semua yang lama sebelum mulai hidup baru.

Kamu tak pernah adil pada hatimu. Bagaimana bisa kamu adil pada insan lain.

Dia sudah cukup kejam pergi meninggalkan hatimu terkapai, dan itu bukan alasan kamu berubah jadi seperti dia.

Adil lah kepada hati mu. Lepaskan yang sudah. Berdamailah dengan kisah lalu. Semoga kamu kuat teruskan tanpa dia. Kamu juga turut berhak bahagia walau bukan dengan dia.

W.

You're still in my heart

'You're still in my heart..'

Therefore, I can't fall in love with anyone else.. anymore.

So many years have passed. I thought I was healing my broken heart. That's why I am still single, avoiding relationship.

But now I am heal. But my heart wont let me to have anyone else anymore.

I met new people, try to get to know them. But it just makes me sad. Like I was been forced to do something that I don't want to. It hurts. And it hurts more when I realised you're still there..in my heart.

At first it was making a comparison between you and them.. and you always win. You win perfectly because my heart has you. And it sees no one else can reach the standard.

And this is how I'm ended like this. Frozen. I can't move on. Still living in the past. Loving you is so lonely and I'm tired.

Sincerely,

W